Masterclass and Q&A – Dr. Mona Delahooke

Monday, November 4, 2019 @ 1:00pm Pacific Time  

Mona Delahooke, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist with more than 30 years of experience caring for children and their families. She is a senior faculty member of the Profectum Foundation, an organization dedicated to supporting families of neurodiverse children, adolescents and adults.

Click the triangles below to automagically find each specific question in the recording:

1This is for Mona Delahooke. When someone is stuck, constantly in fight/flight/freeze and unable to help themselves and reluctant to change things, where do you start? I get resistance when trying to add in bottom up approaches, what should I prioritize? Are there effective passive interventions I should try? When is a good time to start adding in top down approaches?
213-year-old only child ASD - I think he’s ok at school this year, the issue is when he gets home. He’s a big slug & it’s really tough to get him to do anything he doesn’t want to do besides play video games & watch YouTube. If I tell him to do something, he starts yelling or blocks me out so I try not to put my will on him as much, but my husband disagrees & will get him upset. Tips to help my son calm down. He doesn’t like my suggestions lately like take a deep breath, etc.
3If behavioral contingencies don’t work...what would you suggest that is more bottom-up?
4What about people who do not have a good awareness of their internal, sensory reactions to things?
5I'm having a very difficult time regulating my own fight, flight or freeze issues due to several years of trauma especially when my 13-year-old screams or hits me. She has it together at school, the staff there doesn't see any of this. I've been in counseling for years, I feel like I've exhausted talking about issues, is there anything else I can try so I cannot react or retreat as much? I know EMDR comes to mind for me. Is it the same for you Mona?
6
In a society where fitting the norm is the main goal, would a 3-year-old benefit from 4-8h/day in a preschool setting that does not promote healthy growth but leads to traumatic experiences or 1-2 h/day of positive interaction in a nurturing setting with various age kids would be more beneficial in developing a healthy social-emotional house? Does a preschooler need daily interaction with the same peers in the same setting for a better outcome or if the environment is not nurturing that leads to maladaptive coping skills? How do I manage better her social-emotional development in a society that doesn’t promote our home sets of values ? I am really struggling with this, and fear that the wrong decision would give her social anxiety (as I have). Thank you so much!
7When my child is emotionally losing it (is having an angry fit), what are appropriate immediate responses? They specifically state that they are always being left out or getting forgotten unless they say that they want attention. This child is also very easily emotionally fragile (major and instant anger if their hopes are not met. It doesn't seem as manipulative as it does emotionally fragile.) How do I help my child build more resilience and help them out of their negativity?
8My daughter is 7 with an ADHD diagnosis. She is quiet and compliant at school, always smiling, and accommodating to peers. She displays many more symptoms at home. Her anxiety and anger has increased at home since school started. Am I correct to assume her behavior at home is a result of stress at school? How do I identify what is going on at school when she doesn’t attract a lot of attention because she is compliant and “average."
9
Could you delineate between behaviors related to distress vs. intentional behaviors? I think sometimes it's difficult to tell...for example--a child going to screens when he is not supposed to -in or outside of the classroom--is he escaping into the blue zone? Checking out? Or just doing something more pleasurable...?

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1 Comment

  1. Suzanne on November 7, 2019 at 11:08 pm

    I love her explanation of bottom up on the question I asked as I was thinking it totally differently. From my understanding bottom up means just sitting next to my child watching him play his game & ask him questions about the game or just sit there & in time hopefully we will connect better. I have her book. I got it right away when it was released but have only had time to browse it here & there.

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