Summit 2019

Day 7: PARENTING COMPLEX BRIGHT & QUIRKY KIDS

Sunday, February 3, 2019. Begins at 10 am ET/7 am PT

SESSION 1: Debbie Reber | Raising Your Differently Wired Child

Talk Description, Speaker Bio, and Resources

Parenting a 2e kid is a long game and often a journey of acceptance. Debbie provides a valuable roadmap in this process by sharing three valuable “tilts,” which are transformative mindshifts that help us bridge the painful disconnects between expectations and reality:

  • Stop fighting who your child is and lean in - how to see your child as a “whole” being and meet and support them where they are
  • Let your child be on their own timetable - they are not broken! How to work with your own insecurities about your child’s unique timeline.
  • Practice relentless self care - how to get beyond the guilt and understand the value of self care in as little as 10 minutes a day

Debbie ReberDebbie Reber is a parenting activist, New York Times bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker who moved her career in a more personal direction in 2016 when she founded TiLT Parenting, a website, weekly podcast, and social media community for parents like her who are raising differently wired children. The TiLT Parenting Podcast has grown to be a top podcast in iTunes’ Kids and Family category, with more than 600,000 downloads and a slate of guests that includes high-profile thought leaders across the parenting and education space. A regularly contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, Debbie’s newest book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World (Workman Publishing, 2018).

RESOURCES:

Books:

Website & Social Media:

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SESSION 2: Kate Arms & Jen Merrill | How to Avoid Burnout When Raising a 2e Child

Talk Description, Speaker Bio, and Resources

Parenting complex kids can be an exhausting and bumpy ride. Kate and Jen have harnessed powerful learning through their own journeys and education, and created a parent self-care road map including a “parenting survival toolkit,” that is a saving grace for countless 2e parents. Kate and Jen address some of the most challenging parenting concerns from guilt and insecurity, to judgment and overwhelm. Kate and Jen are an upbeat and validating duo that believes in the power of connecting with other parents on similar paths, and the key to thriving vs surviving - feeling truly listened to, and exactly how to get that need met.

Kate ArmsKate Arms, J.D., CPCC, ACC, is a leadership and life coach at Signal Fire Coaching, writer, and teacher. As a coach, she specializes in helping gifted, sensitive, and creative people harness their many passions and sensitivities and use that energy to thrive at work and home. She runs the Thrive with Intensity programs and developed the Side by Side Model of Healthy Relationships. She is the parent of four gifted kids, three of whom are twice-exceptional and a different three of whom are triplets. Her parenting journey has included periods of reluctant homeschooling and advocacy within public and private school systems.

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Jen MerrillJen Merrill is a writer, blogger, flutist, and gifted family advocate. The mom of two boys, she homeschools her twice-exceptional teen while happily sending his brother off to high school every morning. She is a music educator by trade, with degrees in music education and flute performance. Jen justifies those degrees with a large private flute studio and as principal flute of the North Suburban Wind Ensemble. In addition to writing on her long-time blog, Laughing at Chaos, she can be found at An Intense Life, and has published articles in the Understanding Our Gifted Journal, the 2e Newsletter, and the Huffington Post.

RESOURCES:

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SESSION 3: Nicole Tetreault PhD | Helping Your Uniquely Bright Child Flourish

Talk Description, Speaker Bio, and Resources

Dr. Nicole Tetreault addresses the dangers of over identifying with diagnoses, and calls out Neurodiversity as the “new normal.” She explains the most up to date research in neuroscience and the critical gut-brain connection, and how these new findings are shifting the way we think about behavior. Dr. Tetreault dives into specific strategies for nurturing our children’s brains and bodies, and helps us understand the science of how these practices profoundly improve behavior and sense of calm. 

Nicole TetraultDr. Nicole A. Tetreault is a neuroscientist, researcher, author, and speaker who specializes in neurodevelopment and neurodegenerative disorders. She received her Ph.D. from California Institute of Technology (Caltech) in neuroscience. As the founder of Awesome Neuroscience (nicoletetreault.com), she is dedicated to translating the promise of neuroscience and positive psychology for gifted people to live the best quality of life. Dr. Tetreault has authored many peer-reviewed scientific papers on the topics of gifted experience, inflammation in autism, brain evolution, neuroanatomy, neuroinflammation, brain development, behavior, and cell function. Most recently, she has focused her efforts on studying the gifted experience, which encompasses the brain and body connection, by investigating the latest neuroscience, psychology, and physiology research. Her forthcoming book on the neuroscience of giftedness and the gifted experience, Feeling Color: An Insight into a Bright Mind, will be released by Great Potential Press in 2019.

RESOURCES:

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SESSION 4: Olivia Martinez Hauge MFTA, OTR | When Parents Feel Like They’re Not Doing Enough

Talk Description, Speaker Bio, and Resources

Olivia speaks to the silent grief and isolation that parents often feel, especially when we just learn about our child’s diagnosis for the first time. Combining her experience as an OT with her Family Therapy practice, and her own journey as a 2e mom, Olivia understands the emotional bandwidth that it takes to parent a bright and quirky child. Olivia offers her unique approach to parental self-care and the importance of prioritizing our own needs as parents. In following her self-care model, parents model ways to recharge, become more present, happier, and connected. Olivia addresses the constant guilt and fear of “I am not doing enough for my child”, and teaches us how to combat these disruptive and unhelpful thoughts, and to concentrate on what matters most – our connection with our kids.

Olivia Martinez HaugeOlivia Martinez-Hauge, MA, is a marriage and family therapist associate who, for the past eighteen years, has worked within the private sector and public school systems as a pediatric occupational therapist. She works with Tina Payne Bryson at the Center for Connection in Pasadena, California. Occupational therapy is a helping profession, which she chose in order to help children with special needs attain or regain function and achieve their true potential. In 2007, she gave birth to a daughter with significant special needs. The stories of these families became her reality. As she traveled through this unpredictable journey she experienced the ebb and flow of feelings, thoughts, and emotions associated with parental expectations.

RESOURCES:

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SESSION 5: Dan Siegel MD | Deep Mechanisms of the 2e Brain: Prequel to the Talk in Day 1 of the Summit

Talk Description, Speaker Bio, and Resources

Ready for a deep brain dive with Dr. Dan Siegel? In a prequel to his talk that aired on Day 1, Dr. Siegel explains the brain mechanisms of the "differently wired" child. Dr. Siegel talks about the three step process - how the brain makes categories, concepts, and linguistic symbols - and how these things determine how our brain perceives the world in a different way. Dr. Siegel teaches us to celebrate children whose brains don't conform to the category and concept "norms" in the world, and whose brain has the gift of automatically thinking outside of the box!

Dan Siegel

Dr. Siegel is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA. He is also the Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute which focuses on the development of mindsight, which teaches insight, empathy, and integration in individuals, families and communities. Dr. Siegel has published extensively for both the professional and lay audiences. His five New York Times bestsellers are: Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence, Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human, Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain, and two books with Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D:The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline. His other books include: The Developing Mind(2ndEd.), Mindsight,The Mindful Brain, andThe Yes Brain (also with Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D).

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34 Comments

  1. Cynthia on February 5, 2019 at 11:44 pm

    Bravo once again Debbie, another incredible summit!

  2. Michelle Beaulaurier on February 5, 2019 at 11:00 pm

    Hard as it is to raise multiple 2e children, I imagine that the stress discussed also takes a huge toll not only on the parents, but on the marriages too, yet this was never mentioned. Are there higher rates of divorce in this population? Especially if the parents are also 2e, and probably standard couples advice also does not work? So add on years of a bad divorce and how does one navigate? There is not information on how 2e children can be supported through divorce. Standard child advice in these cases, as usual, does not apply.

    Thanks for an incredible, desperately-needed summit! Reignites hope.

  3. Scott Roseman, Ph.D. on February 5, 2019 at 12:13 pm

    As a Psychologist who has worked extensively with Gifted and 2e youngsters and their families for over 30 years, I cannot thank you enough for bringing together such a comprehensive collection of experts who are passionate about their commitment to bright and quirky individuals. I am certain that parents who have struggled with the challenges of raising their 2e kids are feeling as though they have been welcomed into a community where the issues they face daily are finally understood and that there is hope, support and direction for them. I am sharing this information with all of my 2e families as well as my colleagues. Thank you Debbie for putting all of this together.

  4. Joanna Harmer on February 4, 2019 at 10:07 pm

    I’ve loved so much about this summit and have many rabbit holes to dive down in supporting my 2e kiddo. But I’m hoping someone might be able to narrow my search a little.
    Loads of presenters when focusing on EF look at the organisational skills element. My kiddo is just about to turn 6; his EF issues seem more about emotional regulation (which is being helped by ADHD medication) and trying to get him to engage in an activity that kids his age would normally like. So for example, kids usually love going to sport class or music class – but not my guy. and his answer will just be NO. The usual pleas and encouragements from adults “oh come on you’ll like it, it’ll be fun” just do not work. He will just say NO.
    There is an element of “this child just needs to follow all instructions given by an adult” that my child doesn’t really buy into, if it doesn’t suit him! Getting ready for school, not an issue. He might complain about having to pack away some of his things but again, its usually not just the flat out refusal.
    But, you have to do this task or you have to go to this class – well thats likely to get turned down emphatically.

    If he’s left to his own devices when he refuses, he’s usually ok. But, if pressed, he has the potential to explode aggressively and has (often) hurt teachers and other kids who have gotten in his path.

    Please help!!

  5. Renuka Coghlan on February 4, 2019 at 8:35 am

    Hello Debbie, I seem to have lost the last part of the interview with Dan Siegel the video just went off air. I signed in again and the same thing happened.
    Don’t know if anyone else has 3xperienced this problem.

  6. S on February 4, 2019 at 7:52 am

    I fell into this summit by accident, and I am SO grateful. I have heard from so many people who understand my child. I never would have described my daughter as 2e, but after this summit, I think she may be… which will now hopefully help me be more understanding towards her (something she says I need to work on). Thank you, thank you for putting this together.

  7. Michelle Hill on February 4, 2019 at 7:26 am

    Loved Jen and Kate’s interview! One of the most validating things ever said to me regarding parenting my 2e son was from my Dad. I was asking questions about how to handle something and he stopped me– he said, “Michelle we raised nine children, but we didn’t have one like your little guy.” It was a big shift for my thinking and helped me be more gentle with myself and our situation especially since we had no idea what this (2e) was at the time.

  8. Carlene on February 4, 2019 at 5:55 am

    Thoroughly enjoyed this summit. My toolbox is even more equipped than before. Thank you for this and the contributions put forward by each speaker.

  9. Lisa on February 4, 2019 at 4:23 am

    Wow. Thank you so very much for bringing all of these wonderful thinkers and speakers together. I have learned so much in the last week and taken so many notes… my pen just ran out but my heart and mind are full to overflowing. A lot of thinking, reflection, and experimenting still to do, of course – that was a lot to take in, in the space of 7 days where I still had to work and parent! But most importantly, I feel really inspired now about moving forward with my ‘bright and quirky’ kids.

  10. Corey & Kristy fielding on February 3, 2019 at 10:11 pm

    Thank you all! ❤️

  11. Dixie Groutt on February 3, 2019 at 6:33 pm

    Thank you for hosting this summit…so much useful information packed into seven days. I have learned so much!

    Would it be possible to get access to the talk descriptions, speaker bios and resources for days 1 – 3? I did not realize that this information would be available only on the day the talk was given. It would be most helpful to have this information to refer to in the future.

    • Sara nied on February 4, 2019 at 12:01 am

      Hi Dixie, so glad that you have found the summit helpful! If you need some more time with the talks, we have a free encore day Monday at 7am – Tuesday at 10pm PT where you will have access to the entire summit! If that isn’t enough time, you can always purchase an All Access Pass, and have unlimited access to all the downloads and transcripts. Hope this helps!

  12. Tanya Filatoff on February 3, 2019 at 5:15 pm

    Thank you for all the hard work that was done to put this together. It is such a blessing to me to have others give of their time to share their pearls of wisdom. I not only have a ADHD child, but a husband also. I found compassion and empathy for their struggles this week. Instead of getting frustrated with their quirks, you gave me……pause, to think about why they are behaving as they are, and to not take it personal. I look forward to implementing some of the wonderful ideas given by Seth Perler, for my son. I cant thank you enough, and look forward to the next time.

    • Sara nied on February 4, 2019 at 12:04 am

      Thank you, Tanya, and so glad that you’ve found the talks so helpful. I do love Seth Perler’s Sunday Night Overhaul and all his other great ideas for helping our ADHD kids stay motivated and organized. Let us know how it all goes and which strategies work the best!

  13. Cathryn Bjarnesen on February 3, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    Re. Session 3 Nicole Tetreault’s comment about the efficacy of coloured lenses and dyslexia.I work as a specialist teacher in gifted education, an assessor of Specific Learning Disorders (SLD) and also as a specialist teacher working with students with SLDs, including “2e” or neurodiverse learners. I am aware that there is a debate about the efficacy of coloured lenses.
    See: “The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Ophthalmologists (RANZCO) has released a position statement explaining that there is no evidence that Irlen Syndrome exists and that there is no proof that supposed treatments, such as Irlen lenses, help those with reading difficulties” https://ranzco.edu/media-and-advocacy/media-centre/media-releases/media-release-articles/no-scientific-evidence-that-irlen-syndrome-exists-say-ophthalmologists

    • Nicole on February 4, 2019 at 1:08 pm

      Hi Cathryn!
      Thank you for participating. In particular to colored lenses it is specific to the individual and there visual processing difference. Since the visual system continuously develops over our life time with us being born practically blind, it is imperative to determine the origin of the visual processing difference. That being said, colored lenses will work in a subset of the population and have been scientifically proven to aide in faster reading processing and reducing exhaustion when using green, blue, and red colored lenses. It is imperative that child or adult is tested by a qualified ophthalmologist. Specifically, it is thought that the response and the development of the Magnocellular layer in the eye will either respond favorably or not at all when using colored lenses. And this is why a qualified ophthalmologist will help determine whether colored lenses work for the individual. I do know from personal experience that that do work for myself and my son. Here is a study that talks about the different lenses. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0891422218301677?via%3Dihub

      In gratitude and light,
      Dr. Nicole A. Tetreault
      Website: nicoletetreault.com
      Twitter: twitter.com/AwesomeNeuro
      Medium: medium.com/@AwesomeNeuro

  14. Cathryn Bjarnesen on February 3, 2019 at 3:28 pm

    Hi
    Re: Nicole Tetreault, great insights. I would love links to the studies mentioned please. Thanks

  15. Maria Cortés on February 3, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    Thank you very much Debbie for all the help you provide with all this talks ?❤️

    • Debbie Steinberg-Kuntz on February 3, 2019 at 4:45 pm

      Maria, So glad you are finding them helpful. Thanks for taking part!

  16. Annette Wolfe on February 3, 2019 at 1:51 pm

    As a parent, I REALLY appreciate the Summit for a multitude of reasons and REALLY appreciate you providing it for free for a limited time. Last year was eye popping in the realization “this describes my child” and today was eye popping in “I’m not alone in feeling the way I feel”.

    • Sara nied on February 4, 2019 at 12:05 am

      Hi Annette, I love how you distinguish your aha moments from this summit and the last! We are so glad you are no longer feeling alone in it all!

  17. Maria on February 3, 2019 at 1:03 pm

    Thank you so much for facilitating this summit and for making it so accessible. All of these experts did an amazing job and had such a wealth of knowledge and wisdom to share! I have been jotting down notes throughout to help guide my thinking and practices as we move forward in our own journey.

    One thing that came up today is the fact that 2e children quite often have 2e parents. I feel like this is a point that often gets missed. 2e parents’ own experiences often color how they envision their children’s paths. If they have effectively weathered their own challenges, they may feel confident that their children will do the same and might even feel impatience for the dramatic responses of neurotypical parents. On the other hand, many adults are diagnosed as neuro divergent only after years spent diagnosed (sometimes misdiagnosed) with mental health disorders. In some cases, years of being misunderstood have cumulated in depression, isolation and perhaps even serious crises. It can be very frightening for such parents to wonder whether their child is destined to face the same obstacles. In a future summit, I think that it would be valuable if one of the experts could really dive more deeply into this topic.

    • Debbie Steinberg-Kuntz on February 3, 2019 at 4:47 pm

      Great idea, Maria. If folks know a good speaker for this topic, let me know!

  18. miona on February 3, 2019 at 12:02 pm

    Thank you very much for this one week summit! I have learnt many new things and had very important ‘aha’ moment.

  19. Anne S on February 3, 2019 at 10:01 am

    is it possible to get the citation to study referenced by Nicole Tetreau: quirky brain anticipates sound prior to its arrival? Anne S. Ryan

    • Anne on February 3, 2019 at 2:25 pm

      Yes, please! And also a citation for the data showing the 10% reduction in focus with the cell phone nearby.

  20. Dan on February 3, 2019 at 9:35 am

    What an amazing week of information and connection! A big thank you to Debbie for connecting all of us and sharing and spreading wisdom and hope for our 2e families and community around the world. I am looking forward to continuing the conversation with everyone in the Idea Lab to help with increased understanding and daily victories. Have a great Sunday.

  21. Debbie Steinberg-Kuntz on February 3, 2019 at 7:01 am

    Good Morning! It’s time for Day 7, our final day in the summit. For an overview of today’s talks, check out this quick video Sara and I recorded: https://www.facebook.com/brightandquirky/videos/2228820850490408/?notif_id=1549205105318920&notif_t=scheduled_post_published

  22. MaryJane on February 3, 2019 at 6:54 am

    I am loving all these interviews. I just don’t have the time to watch them all in the time frame of 24 hours.
    Such great information and insight……and resources.

    • on February 3, 2019 at 11:57 am

      I’m loving them too but no way can i listen to them all in 24 hours which is incredibly disappointing

      • Debbie Steinberg-Kuntz on February 3, 2019 at 5:25 pm

        Miriam, A special encore was just announced. Also, an All Access Pass is also available: https://brightandquirky.com/access-pass/. I hope you enjoy the rest of the summit!

        • on February 4, 2019 at 5:56 am

          Grandfather, medical background, has a grandson needing social interaction, 7 yo,currently in home instruction. NYC Your program is very well done. Although an editing error left me hanging, literally,on Dan Siegel last word.

          • Debbie Steinberg-Kuntz on February 4, 2019 at 8:14 am

            Oh Nick, our apologies! Dan Siegel and I had a long chat so we decided to break it into two summit talks. The other part of this talk appears in Day 1! Let us know if you have any trouble finding it.



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