Bright & Quirky Child Summit

Help bright kids thrive, even with learning, social and/or emotional challenges

Session 1: Misbehaving or Misunderstood: How Heightened Sensitivities Can Affect 2e Kids

Stuart Shanker, D.Phil

Ready to learn the most important factors to help children with meltdowns, acting out and self-regulation? Dr. Stuart Shanker teaches us the difference between misbehavior and stress behavior, how to recognize a child's unique and subtle signs of overstress, and most importantly, what powerful and restorative responses will help. Understand the types of cycles bright and quirky kids run on that affect their stress, and how we can become a nurturing source for our child with effective soothing strategies. Dr. Shanker's talk is highly recommended for both parents and educators.

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Self-Reg RUBRIC | Stressors in 5 Domains

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Download: Self-Reg RUBRIC | Stressors in 5 Domains

Now we'd love to hear from you. What's bubbling up for you after hearing the talk? Let us know in the comments section below.

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  1. Kara Steffen on March 19, 2020 at 7:30 am

    As a Mom of a 2E kid and a special educator this is awsome learning, thank you!!!

  2. Stephanie on March 18, 2020 at 3:00 pm

    As a 2e teacher in a public school, I strongly believe our classroom teachers, administrators, and paras need this information. “Restore before” makes sense to me because I have had some amazing 2e kids and their parents help me see first hand how self-regulation impacts behavior. I have seen the misinformed responses from teachers that actually create more problems for students AND teachers. It isn’t that teachers mean to cause harm, it is simply that they don’t understand. I love the idea of a summit for classroom teachers, administrators, and paras. I would also welcome the creation of professional development videos I could use with my staff.

  3. Megan Fleming on March 18, 2020 at 12:53 pm

    Just watched the whole presentation all the way from New Zealand. Am an educator of 3 year olds so very relevant and useful. Thanks for making this available online.

  4. Christina Chapan on March 17, 2020 at 8:28 am

    Thanks for sharing this. I am so excited that during my time off I can grow and learn as a teacher.

  5. Amy on March 14, 2020 at 5:11 am

    Wow! Self-regulation should come first. Last year, I examed my own mental health state and made a decision not to shout to my children. My children are able to self-regulate themselves much better. It’s an ongoing lifetime learning process.

  6. Antje Rach on March 14, 2020 at 2:40 am

    Thank you a lot, Stuart and Debbie. Just listening to you, seeing your wonderful attitude is so soothing.
    We have a 9 years old at home, who is bright, wonderful, charming and supersensitive. And he is in fight/flight mode when there are too many stressors. We know this, teachers know this, however… 🙁 🙁 🙁
    At home, we’ve found a good way to deal with it and mostly we can see the signs and prevent the tantrums, but at school it’s horrible for him 🙁
    I’ll download the material for them, buy them the book you recommended and hope they learn. Thank you!!

  7. Gloria Gallardo-Walker on March 13, 2020 at 10:57 pm

    Great idea to change teacher’s perspective to first help their well-being so they can then offer comfort and regulation to our kids in order to help them feel safe so they can once again use their blue brains instead of stay stuck in red brain and meltdown.

  8. R Grima on March 13, 2020 at 6:59 pm

    Absolutely loving this online summit. The best idea ever. Thank you so much for making it available to those of us on the other side of the world.

  9. Sara on March 13, 2020 at 5:16 pm

    Thank you for a fantastic talk, it all makes a ton of sense for my 9 year old who has been through a period at school where he was in a semi constant fight/flight/freeze state and completely disengaged. He is really smart so the teachers just would say he is behaving badly. He has SPD and is SUPER sensitive to many stimuli we dont even notice and learning is such a struggle as he also has Dyspraxia, and recently diagnosed ADHD. Thankfully things are a lot better and this year he has just as Stuart talks about “Blown us away” Printed off all his resources for myself and the school.

    • Lauren on March 14, 2020 at 12:06 am

      Yes Sara! I am so glad Stuart put words to what you’ve experienced with your son. I hope he continues to blow you away with his awesomeness!
      -Lauren with the B&Q Team

  10. Kat Wolfe on March 13, 2020 at 5:16 pm

    Yes we do need everybody on the same page as you both (Stuart & Debbie)! Especially in our homes and schools! So many of us need this education! Let’s create a FaceBook platform to promote Mona’s words as our anthem while we self quarantine due to COVID-19: “The shift I propose is understanding that emotional co-regulation (helping the child’s emotional journey causing the behavioral challenge) is the new paradigm.” Let’s have teachers, parents, Department of Education administrators, PBIS researchers, trauma informed, etc. to gather and learn these tools now.

    • Lauren on March 14, 2020 at 12:18 am

      I love this mission, Kat! The work around neuroception is indeed poweful. Great ideas start in small communities like this and build momentum. We are trying to share this work with the world and are so glad you are here to support it!
      -Lauren with the B&Q Team

  11. Stacy Johnson on March 13, 2020 at 3:44 pm

    This is such a helpful and relevant topic. As a second year homeschool Mom with 8 and 12 year old boys, I knew my older son had struggled with school. I also know that he is an amazingly intelligent kid. I didn’t know what a hard time my youngest had in Kindergarten, until we did homeschooling and he talked about feeling stupid at school. That blew my mind. He is an exceptionally creative kid, and we look forward to seeing great things from him . My reason for initially homeschooling was that we went on a one-year RV adventure around the U.S., and homeschooling was the only way to do it,. But now I see the value of individualized education for each of them, as challenging as it can be. They don’t fit the public school mode. However, I still struggle with determining when they are misbehaving or when there are other stressors brewing. I’m looking forward to diving into the Self-Reg Rubric and 5 domains.

  12. Michele on March 13, 2020 at 2:58 pm

    So great! His website has tons of information and tools:

  13. Dafna on March 13, 2020 at 2:44 pm

    Great talk

  14. Ginaya Peters on March 13, 2020 at 2:42 pm

    I LOVE that he references the Modeh Ani prayer!

    • Lauren on March 14, 2020 at 12:20 am

      Me too! I love when our experts share what personally motivates, inspires, or gives them strength.
      -Lauren with the B&Q Team

  15. Sarah L Poling on March 13, 2020 at 11:53 am

    The rubric is amazing!!!

    Delivery room video

    Second rubric is the worksheet.

  16. Jennifer Curry on March 13, 2020 at 11:47 am

    This is great. The reaction about fight or flight is helpful. Is “freeze” ever part of the limbic response?

    • Tara on March 13, 2020 at 1:54 pm

      Thank you so much. My child is 2e but isn’t showing it in class. I understand why now.
      Thanks from New Zealand – you are going global

    • Lauren on March 14, 2020 at 12:23 am

      Jennifer, yes, freeze is often included with fight or flight responses of the limbic system of the brain.
      Lauren with the B&Q Team

  17. Leanne Page on March 13, 2020 at 11:29 am

    What is the name of his last book he has referred to, to give to teachers?

    • Mitzi on March 13, 2020 at 5:07 pm

      The book is “Reframed”.

  18. Toni on March 13, 2020 at 11:14 am

    Very eye opening for me, thank you! I have a usually high functioning autistic son who is currently unable to attend school. Lymbic brakes have made him not able to even do school work at home. This is fascinating and I finally see a path forward with this info to delve into!

  19. Arielle on March 13, 2020 at 11:12 am

    How can I help my 8 yr old son reduce his stress at school so he can enjoy school and learning? He is never disruptive, but is very sensitive and mostly shuts down at school.

    • Lauren on March 13, 2020 at 11:29 am

      Some parents find it helpful to talk to teachers and ask if teachers have a sense about what happens before a child shuts down. What patterns do they see? Is it right before math or a writing task? Is it later in the day when a child’s sensory cup is full and overflowing? Shutting down is a response to an overstressed nervous system. I encourage you to read Dr. Delahooke’s book Beyond Behaviors’ where she talks about the iceberg theory and all of the underlying things that can be going on under the surface behavior or exploding, or in this case, shutting down. We have to play detective in that regard so we know how to respond!
      -Lauren with the B&Q Team

  20. Barak on March 13, 2020 at 10:00 am

    Wonderful. Thank you. I have found this extremely helpful.

  21. Anne S Ryan on March 13, 2020 at 9:45 am

    Good to hear: ask why and ask why now.
    These are ?s in long term relationships where responsibility for self and others also needs to be able to shift.

    • Lauren on March 13, 2020 at 11:30 am

      I agree that this simple adult intervention at home or school can be such a powerful pause to help us respond more compassionately!
      -Lauren with the B&Q Team

  22. Emilie on March 13, 2020 at 9:40 am

    This was fantastic. I’m ready to dive deeper into his work and figure out how we can get these ideas in our local schools!

    • Tracey Stanislawski on March 13, 2020 at 10:55 am

      Yes! Agreed! Learning about this is wonderfully enlightening.. but how does this translate into how we advocate for our kids in the schools?

      • Lauren on March 13, 2020 at 11:34 am

        See Dr. Stuart Shanker’s website. He has a lot of resources for teachers and parents. Other parents share video clips or talks on the day they are broadcasted. Others will send an email with a summary of the information that best fits their child. We are our child’s best advocate, so please share any information sources from the Summit freely!

  23. Cathy on March 13, 2020 at 9:36 am

    Amazing! I forwarded the link to the video to my sons teacher and the lower school director! Can we find out the name of the school Dr shankers kids thrived in?

    • Lauren on March 13, 2020 at 11:37 am

      I’ll ask Debbie to reach out and ask that question. He is a part of the IdeaLab and has done Masterclasses before where we get to ask him questions that are specific to our child. He is an amazing resource 🙂
      -Lauren with the B&Q Team

  24. Renae on March 13, 2020 at 9:10 am

    This is so helpful. May I ask where the rubric is located? Thank you!

    • Tiffany on March 13, 2020 at 10:17 am

      Where can we get the rubric? The worksheet link above gave me example stressors. Thank you! This was so helpful!

    • Lauren on March 13, 2020 at 11:38 am

      It will be uploaded shortly. Please check back!
      -Lauren with the B&Q Team

  25. Kim on March 13, 2020 at 9:04 am

    Fabulous! Love him!

    • Melanie on March 13, 2020 at 2:36 pm

      Very insightful! This is my 3rd time listen to dr shanker, always learn something new! Thank you !

  26. Mandy on March 13, 2020 at 8:58 am

    So spot on in so many ways. Many, many thanks.

  27. Sean Phillips on March 13, 2020 at 8:33 am

    My 2e son likes to note that with enough rubrics, you can build a ruhouse. 🙂

    Thank you. My son closely follows the stress profiles you describe and this has been extraordinarily useful.

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